Your heart, which is the inner you (spirit and soul together), has been damaged in many different ways. From childhood to the present you have endured many hurts and wounds that have led to a hardening of your heart, also known as broken heartedness. The idea of having a hardened, scarred, and broken heart is usually one of the biggest forms of denial for those who truly need healing. Because of this denial, the healing never takes place, and will ultimately lead to a barrier in the spiritual growth bondage breaking process. All of us have had to face hurts in our past, and no one is immune from the broken heartedness that occurs. This means - you have issues from your past that need to be addressed, and released, so you can receive the healing that God has promised. As people living in the flesh, we tend to stuff the feelings that cause pain so we don’t have to deal with them. We simply are not strong enough under our own power, so we hide the wounds, damage, pain, and hurts by abusive behaviors, excessive use of drugs, alcohol, and/or other sinful activities that keep us a slave to sin (bondage). This condition leads to an uncontrollable and/or repressed anger that causes a root of bitterness to grow deep within our hearts. Freedom from Bondage Your heart holds the key to your relationship with God, which is ultimately the key to walking in victory. God does not look at your outward appearance, He looks at what is in your heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 - The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” NIV If your heart is full of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness, your relationship with God and your spiritual growth will be hindered. You must receive healing from these scars if you want to continue your walk in the victory that Jesus has won for you. Proverbs 23:7 - For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. NKJV Jesus compares our hearts to a fruit tree in Matthew 12 - showing us that our hearts ultimately control our words and actions. Matthew 12:33-35 - “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” NIV It is the issues of your heart, and what is in your heart that controls your words, actions, and behavior. Thus, you must have a change of heart if you are to change your life. As you allow God to heal you, He will remove the old sinful desires of your heart, and give you new desires that are pleasing to Him. Psalm 37:4 - Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. NIV God wants you to be healed. He wants you to know that you are His creation, loved and cherished by Him who created you. He wants you to be a whole person by finding your identity in His love, through Jesus Christ. He knows about your broken heartedness, and He has made a way for you to be healed. Jesus say’s… Luke 4:18 - “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted…” NKJV How to Get Healed of a Broken Heart 1. Desire to be healed (refuse to stay the same). 2. Identify and acknowledge the pain, wounds, damage, and scars. ..... a. Parental figures who didn’t provide for your needs (neglect and/or abuse). ..... b. Identify specific grievances. ..... c. Identify others who have hurt you (siblings, other family, spouse, etc). ..... d. Identify specific memories. ..... e. Ask God in prayer to bring to mind all other areas needing to be released. 3. Take a stand. Verbalize forgiveness to the Lord. ..... a.Mention specifically the person and identified area of abuse, neglect, etc… ..... b. Ask the Lord to forgive them for the specific grievance. ..... c. Forgive them from your heart, and do not hold it against them. ..... d. Repent of any unforgiveness. ..... e. Pray for them. 4. Ask the Lord to heal your heart. ..... a. Based on the promise of Luke 4:18, Psalm 147:3, Isaiah 53:5, and 61:1 Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. NIV Isaiah 53:5 - …and by his wounds we are healed. NIV Isaiah 61:1 - He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted. NIV 5. Believe you receive. ..... a. Based on the promise of Mark 11:23-24 Mark 11:23-24 - “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. NIV Forgiveness is the key to your healing. Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.’” NIV Jesus said if you hold anything against anyone, you must forgive them, so that God can forgive you. He repeats this command when He gives us an example of how to pray (Matthew 6:12 - “and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”). And He goes on to say… Matthew 6:14-15 - “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” NIV Jesus gives us this intensely compelling command because He knows that it is the only way to receive healing. As you forgive others, it releases you from the pain and anger that have been holding you prisoner, and sets you free from the roots of bitterness that have been the cause of your grief and suffering. Matthew 18:21-22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” NIV Forgiveness is a choice you must make. It is an attitude of your heart. As you release your unforgiveness, God forgives and heals your heart. As you go to God in prayer, forgiving from your heart those who harmed you, asking God to forgive them, and praying for them, you’ve attained the “vertical forgiveness” that God commands You should also go directly to the person, let them know how they hurt you, and offer your complete forgiveness (This “horizontal forgiveness” should only be done where possible, and where doing so will not cause more harm). Forgiveness is NOT… Forgiveness is NOT a feeling… Forgiveness is NOT minimizing the offense… Forgiveness is NOT condoning the other persons behavior… Forgiveness is NOT trusting the other person… Forgiveness is NOT letting the other person off the hook… Forgiveness is NOT expecting an apology… Forgiveness is NOT forgetting… In most cases you will NOT feel like forgiving, but keep in mind it is commanded by God that you do so. This does not mean that you are saying what the person did is OK (because chances are if it hurt you, it was not OK). It does mean that you are willing to give the burden of the pain up to God (setting down the load, never to pick it up again). Forgiveness does NOT mean that you need to forget what that person did. In fact, it is the memories of your past that make you who you are, and God is going to use you as you are, for His glory. Romans 12:19-20 - Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… NIV Forgiveness IS… Forgiveness IS life-changing… Forgiveness IS a decision only you can make… Forgiveness IS obeying God… Forgiveness IS freedom and release… Forgiveness IS a process… Forgiveness IS living in a higher realm… Forgiveness IS unilateral… Forgiveness IS a reflection of your maturity… Forgiveness depends solely on you. It does not depend on the other party or their reaction to your forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process. You must make the decision to always keep on forgiving, and repent from holding on to any unforgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go. It’s transferring the hurts and offenses that you’ve been carrying over to God. It’s a release of burden and weariness that brings freedom, change, and healing to your heart. You can know you have forgiven when: God’s love can flow through you to the other person, You continue to grow spiritually, You grow stronger in your relationship with God, You can feel joy, peace, freedom, and healing in your heart. The consequences of unforgiveness can lead to depression, bitterness, negativity, physical and emotional sickness, loneliness, bondage, and more. The benefits of forgiveness will release you from the bondage of the hurtful situation, bringing freedom, healing, power, restoration, and victory in your new life with Christ.
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